Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
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