in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
Randomize
