He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
