Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
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