woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
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