I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
Randomize
