somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
Randomize
