physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
