I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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