Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
vagina is talking i cant
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
Randomize