Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
Randomize
