I woke up with my face in a pile of pancakes and 3000 mistakes.
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
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