Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
Randomize
