I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
Randomize
