i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
Randomize
