I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize
