real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Randomize
