So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
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I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
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After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
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