Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
Randomize
