I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
Randomize
