does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Randomize
