Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Randomize
