she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
So apparently the bar gave out free condoms, which I now have a pocket full of. Why is drunk me shoving the fact that I'm single and not getting laid in sober me's face...
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Randomize
