if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
You're a waste of cheezeits
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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