why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
Randomize
