I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
