ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
Randomize
