my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
Acid is not a monday night drug
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
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