oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
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