I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
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