Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
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Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
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