At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Randomize
