i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
Kristen just told everyone at the bar that I've got a huge dick, now Brittany is giving me the eye. What is the opposite of FML?
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
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