hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
he just fucked me for my cheese.
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
Randomize
