Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
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