Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
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