He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
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