Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
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