and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
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