So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
Randomize