I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
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