I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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