Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
Randomize
