u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
Randomize
