dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
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