..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
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her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
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I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
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