Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Randomize
