He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
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