My first STD was from a foam party
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
Just drug him and when he wakes up be like "you just woke up from a coma, we've been married for the past five years." It'll be like the Vow but fucked up.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
Randomize
