I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize
