I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
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