thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
Randomize
