Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
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