very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
Dear god my vagina.
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
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