so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
YAS. BRING CRAB.
Randomize
