Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
Randomize
