Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
Randomize
