Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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