haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
Randomize
