your parents love me but you hate me
remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
