i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
My penis needs a shock collar
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
Randomize
