I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
Randomize
