Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
Randomize
