So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
