Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
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